MCU Heroes, Ranked By How Likely We Think They Would Be To Get The COVID-19 Vaccine

Avengers: Endgame rounded out Marvel’s Phase 3 with The Avengers working to save half the population from eradication, and became the most financially successful film of all time. These heroes have taken the world by storm, but would they take the COVID-19 vaccine? We ranked them by how likely we think they’d be to get inoculated.

10. Captain America (Steve Rogers) — Cap was under the ice when the polio vaccine was invented, so we’re not even sure that he’s clear of that. Since he’s a true American hero, make sure you stay away from his holiday BBQ, because you’ll probably catch Covid and get into an uncomfortable conversation about how “not all cops are bad.”

9. Starlord (Peter Quill) — Quill would have most definitely contracted Corona at some point during the pandemic, but doesn’t quite understand how the antibodies work, so he doesn’t get why he would need the vaccine. He’s the type of guy who would DM you to hook up and be like “no I already had it, so i’m totally fine.” So no, Starlord would not get the covid vaccine. Also, Chris Pratt.

8. Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff) — Black Widow would be the first to sacrifice herself for what she believes is right, be it infinity stones or global pandemics. In this case though, she believes going out to Target without her mask on and buying a SodaStream for just $89.99 is the best course of action. Who needs a vaccine when you have #girlpower? You do, Natasha. Wear a damn mask.

7. Thor, God of Thunder — Thor does not know what COVID-19 is, and if he did, does it matter? His muscles are literally impenetrable. It happened in 2011 in Thor. So.

6. Spider-Man (Peter Parker) — If Peter doesn’t feel so good, this time it’s probably because he’s feeling side effects of a syringe full of Moderna pumped straight into his bicep. But he almost didn’t go to his appointment because of peer pressure. High schoolers are mean and dumb.

5. Iron Man (Tony Stark) — Tony Stark: Billionaire, playboy, former worldwide supplier of weapons of mass destruction, philanthropist. Tony is a man of science, so he, like his buddy Bruce, would probably get the COVID vaccine! But that wouldn’t retroactively save all those people he killed by manufacturing all those weapons. And Bruce is hotter. So we put Iron Man at a safe-mid-list ranking.

4. Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) — Now, we didn’t actually see Captain Marvel, but we’re pretty sure she’s in the United States Airforce, meaning Carol would also have early access to the COVID-19 vaccine! She’s got nuclear girlpower. If coronavirus had a war ship, she’d be first in line to magically missile launch her way through it.

3. Doctor Strange (Stephen Strange) — When he’s not running around in a magic cape, Stephen is a surgeon. Essential worker. Definitely getting vaccinated.

2. T’Challa (Black Panther) — Wakanda eradicated COVID within their borders before New Zealand did. And all of their citizens were vaccinated by the end of January.

1. The Hulk (Bruce Banner) — First place on our list of Marvel heroes to get vaccinated is for sure the green machine, Mr. Bruce Banner. Bruce is a man of science. He is 100% positive Corona is not a hoax, and super willing to do his part in keeping the population safe, humans, aliens, and raccoons alike. Plus, the Russo brothers made him irresistibly fuckable in Endgame. Hot guys get vaccinated. That’s science.

Run Time:

Horror Movie Dog Can’t Believe He Has To Die For This Family

SALEM, Mass. — In sharp deviation from the strict haunted house pet guidelines, the Roscoe family’s German Shepherd...

Paddington Cinematic Universe Creates Shared Fantasy World Where Kindness And Decency Win

LONDON, UK — Representatives from Studiocanal UK confirmed today that the third Paddington film would be part of a...

Extended Cut Of 'The Lighthouse' Adds 20 Minutes of Robert Pattinson Masturbating

LOS ANGELES — An upcoming extended-release of modern art-house horror classic The Lighthouse promises additional...

MCU Heroes, Ranked By How Likely We Think They Would Be To Get The COVID-19 Vaccine

Avengers: Endgame rounded out Marvel’s Phase 3 with The Avengers working to save half the population from eradication...

Help! I Dyed My Hair Blue And Now Men Won’t Stop Projecting Romantic Idealism Onto Me

I dyed my hair blue and now I’m trapped in some random guy’s dream and I can’t stop rollerblading!! All I wanted...

Experts No Closer To Determining Why Jared Leto Standing Outside Your Window Every Night

LOS ANGELES — Despite years of research, experts have come no closer to determining why award-winning actor-musician...