Steven Yeun Makes Oscar History As First Best Actor Nominee To Use Too Small A Slice
LOS ANGELES — Steven Yeun received an Oscar nomination Monday morning for his breakout turn in this year’s critical darling, Minari, making him the first Best Actor nominee to have used too small a slice after doing a big mud pie, disgusted sources report.
“I may be the first nominee in history who was just trying not to use a ton of paper towel, but I certainly won’t be the last. It’s a common thing, okay?” said Yeun, defending himself after unseen footage of his birthday party from Netflix true crime docuseries I Think You Should Leave With Tim Robinson made his poor hygiene habits public. “Also, I would like the record to reflect this is in no way an admission of guilt in the untimely death of Tim Robinson. A huge thanks to the Academy for this historic nod.”
While many think Yeun’s nod is a victory for those wishing to see a diversity of perspectives on the silver screen, critics say it’s not enough.
“So the Academy would be fine if they implemented structural change towards racial justice in the industry, right?” said comedian Tim Robinson, who discovered Yeun took too small a slice. “They say they like diversity. So they wouldn’t have any qualms if they implemented structural change towards racial justice in the industry and racism didn’t exist anymore. Right, Rick? Right, Melissa? Steven might have mud pie on his hands, but Hollywood has mud pie on its soul. And I’m sick off of their mud pie.”
Some academy members voiced their support for Yeun.
“I’m so happy to see Steven overcoming the woke-scolds of cancel culture to nab the nomination he deserves, small slice and second-degree murder charge be damned. I guarantee he’ll win, or my name isn’t Mel Gibson!”
At press time, sources confirmed that the restroom Yeun was seen exiting earlier today was out of both toilet paper and paper towels.