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News

Fuck, Sitcom You Watched To Get Your Mind Off Of Things Just Got Really Sad

BOISE, Idaho — Throwing a depressing curveball at its audience, the quirky sitcom that you started watching to take...

New Netflix True Crime Docuseries Spends Eight Episodes Not Finding Out Who Did It

DILLWEED, Ill. — Over the course of eight long, one hour episodes, new Netflix docuseries, Kids: Missing? takes a...

Marvel Reveals ‘Deadpool 3’ Will Break Fifth Wall By Sending Ryan Reynolds To Watch With You

LOS ANGELES — Squeezing every possible penny out of their raunchiest cinematic property, Marvel announced Monday...

Oscars Signal Return To Normalcy By Snubbing Actors Of Color

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Audiences were treated to a glimpse of pre-pandemic normalcy during last night’s 93rd Academy...

Ricky Gervais Mutters Cheeky Oscars Banter Alone On Couch

LONDON — Breathing a sigh of relief, audiences watched the biggest names in Hollywood celebrate the 93rd Academy...

Diehard Marxist Forces Friends To Watch ‘Horse Feathers,’ ‘Duck Soup’

MEMPHIS – Self-proclaimed “Marxist” Donnie Scott continued to misunderstand the meaning of that word when he demanded...

Oh Fuck, Guy Thinks They Should Make An ‘Infinite Jest’ Movie

CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — A group of friends’ genial discussion about their favorite movies came to a screeching halt when...

Edward Norton Shows Up At Starbucks to Rewrite Man’s Screenplay

TOWSON, Md. — Acclaimed actor and consummate perfectionist Edward Norton appeared randomly at a local Starbucks...

‘I Totally Relate To Nomadland,’ Says Wealthy Van-Lifer With 100k Followers

YOSEMITE, Calif. — 24-year-old van-lifer, influencer, and yearslong recipient of her parents’ financial support Ella...

CDC Pauses Production of Dwayne Johnson & Don Johnson Buddy Cop Film

LOS ANGELES — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention issued a statement Wednesday morning announcing the...

Closure of Beloved Bookstore Chain Devastates Los Angeles

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Los Angeles residents were shocked to find out Monday afternoon that Arclight, the beloved chain...

Adventure Movie Scientists Warn Climate Change May Eradicate World's Quicksand, Snake Pits

PETRA, JORDAN — In a new study inked in blood and printed on parchment, the Association of Adventure Movie Scientists...