The Best ‘Spider-Man’ Films to Watch While Cradling Your Dying Uncle Ben
When Sam Raimi’s ‘Spider-Man’ swung into theaters in 2002, it revolutionized the superhero genre, the cinematic landscape at large, and how people cope as their uncle bleeds out on the street after being attacked by a petty criminal. So wipe away your tears, call 9-11 and settle in for our definitive ranking of which Spider-Man movies to watch while cradling your dying Uncle Ben.
7. Spider-Man (2002) — The original Raimi ‘Spider-Man’ features a steamy upside-down kiss shared between a half-masked Tobey Maguire and Kirtsen Dunst in the pouring rain. This undeniably sexy scene won the 2002 MTV movie award for ‘Best Kiss’ and will turn you on while watching it, which is completely inappropriate while embracing a fallen loved one.
6. Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019) — This is Spidey truly embracing his fun, youthful side that sometimes gets lost in other entries. While the Degrassi-level of teenage drama makes for a fun movie, it all seems inconsequential as you feel life drain from your father figure’s cold body.
5. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) — No matter how much pain your dying Uncle Ben is in, I can assure you this movie will make him feel worse.
4. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) — Uncle Ben is a huge Michael Keaton fan, so seeing his performance as Vulture might offer him comfort that you most certainly cannot in this intense moment.
3. Spider-Man 2 (2004) — The critically acclaimed benchmark by which all other Spider-Man films are judged is most praised for its surprising emotional depth. Alfred Molina’s moving character arc and entrancing performance as Doc Ock may actually help distract your uncle Ben from the fact that he is wasting away in your arms.
2. The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) — Completely forgettable. Makes the perfect background noise while you beg your Uncle Ben to hold on and assure him he’s going to make it, even though you know deep down that your aunt won't be there in time to say goodbye.
1. Spider-Man 3 (2007) — The emotional weight of seeing actor Cliff Robinson in his final role as Uncle Ben in combination with the scatter-brained absurdity of Emo-Peter Parker might soften the blow of holding your own dear uncle, reassuring you that there really is no ‘right’ way to feel in moments like these, which no amount of schooling or life experience could ever prepare you for. Also, if you time it correctly, the credits will roll at the exact moment the EMTs pronounce your Uncle Ben dead, solidifying your tragic superhero origin story.