Cash-Strapped AMC Opens Fifth Theater In Burbank

BURBANK, Calif. — In the company’s biggest territorial expansion in over a decade, AMC Entertainment has announced plans to open a fifth movie theater a block over from the existing multiplex in Burbank Town Center, excited moviegoers report.

“After fourteen months without earnings, we’ve decided to go full steam ahead along with the reopening of America. And that’s why we’re proud to announce an additional theater in the profitable commerce center of Burbank to make up for lost time,” said AMC CEO Adam Aron. “As they say, the fifth time's the charm.”

The newly announced AMC Burbank 6, not to be confused with the existing AMC Burbank Town Center 6, will be located 0.4 miles away from the still-under-construction fourth location, the AMC Burbank Town Center 16; not to be confused with AMC Burbank 16.

“We’re very blessed to have not just four, but five AMC all within the same couple of blocks, showing films from almost all five of the major studios,” said Burbank resident Dominic Green. "Sure, each cinema name is so similar that when I buy tickets online I inevitably show up to the wrong theater, panic, sprint as fast as I can through one mall and into another one, before finally showing up late to the theater I was supposed to be at in the first place. But that’s a price I’m willing to pay."

Thanks to a $917M cash infusion from investors, AMC was able to avoid filing for chapter 11, which they are putting into building new cinemas around previously successful ones.

“Where the fuck was ArcLight’s capital infusion?” said Ted Mundorff, President and COO of recently closed ArcLight Cinemas and Pacific Theatres. “When we had to close, there was an outpouring of love for our theaters but no financial support whatsoever. I don’t understand. Nobody even likes Burbank. Was it the $6 water bottles?”

At press time, the existing three AMC Burbank theaters had reopened with all screens showing Warner Bros.’s Tom & Jerry. Tickets start at $20.99.

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