Entry Level Entertainment Job Requires 10 Years Experience As Director's Child
LOS ANGELES – An entry level production assistant job for a new horror film from director Alan Harrison required that applicants have at least 10 years of experience as one of the director’s offspring, according to the “preferred qualifications” section of the job’s posting on Linkedin.
“I believe that stories are something that are passed from one generation to the next. As such, the best stories can only be fully understood by someone with direct ties to a previous generation,” said casting director Don Harrison. “Ideally, they should be a direct descendant of my brother’s, although nieces and nephews will be considered. It truly is the only way to ensure that everyone fully understands my vision and can bring it to life, just as I have brought them to life.”
Screenwriters throughout Hollywood, especially those who lack the prerequisite familial ties, are reportedly in uproar about what some are calling “nepotism.”
“Man, I know they say it’s all about who you know, but this just seems ridiculous,” said aspiring screenwriter Sarah Nelson. “I guess maybe I’ll have to see if I can get adopted or something and work my way up. Do you think there’s any resources through WGA about marrying into one of the directorial families in this town?”
Harrison’s children spoke out about the misconception that they’re receiving special treatment.
“It’s not like we asked to be born in a famous family with easy access to a historically exclusive career path,” said Harrison’s daughter Mandy Harrison. “If anything, father is going to be even harder on my application because I’m his daughter! Not to mention I have to hear about it at home and work. Other writers are lucky that they don’t have to deal with this. They should stop complaining and just focus on their work. Be so good they can’t ignore you, right?”
At press time, Harrison’s studio reiterated its commitment to a diverse working environment and emphasized that women, veterans, individuals with disabilities, and members of the LGBT community are encouraged to apply, so long as they share at least 50% of their DNA with Harrison.