Paul Thomas Anderson Movie Nominated For Oscar During Pre-Production

Christina House / LA Times

LOS ANGELES — During a pre-production discussion about the upcoming Paul Thomas Anderson film, producers, cast and crew were so viscerally moved by the ideas floating around that the movie, which is still in development, was nominated for an Oscar in every category possible, members of the Academy confirmed.

“It’s going to be a period piece where a character’s intensely ambiguous sexual history will lead them into a philosophically murky void either to reclaim or sell out their morals,” Anderson responded when asked what the unmade film was hopefully going to be about. “It’s all symbolic. The plot revolves around things like fruit smoothies, good music, and my wife, Maya Rudolph. I definitely was not expecting to get a nomination so soon, but to be honest, I also wasn’t not expecting it.”

The film’s producer, Dan Whiteman, is confident in their chances of taking home the gold.

“Paul Thomas Anderson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Julianne Moore… What else is there to know?” he said. “There are 8,000 members of the academy needed to agree on what takes the cake and let’s just say, as the nephew of pretty much all of them, I’m pretty sure Paul’s chances of winning the Oscar are near certain. If the power of the stars doesn’t do it, the movie’s sociopath-oriented sublot will – granted it has one. We’re either going with that or debilitating disease. Or puppies! It’s all still up in the air.”

Six time nominee, Daniel Day Lewis, cared little about his nomination for “Best Actor” in the upcoming film.

“This character has taken four years of deep study and I still feel like I hardly know who he is at all,” he said. “That’s why I plan to lobby for another four years of study before we begin shooting. I feel comfortable still taking the Oscar nom this year, though, since it’s not like I’m going to give a bad performance. Besides, what it’s really all about is shoes. Come into my castle to spy on the collection of shoes I’ve gotten to cobble during this time of deep character study.  Each stitch has been more rewarding than the last.”

At press time, a baroque period piece starring an unannounced british actress won the Oscar for “Best Costume Design” based on sketches that will be drawn eventually.

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