Movie Idea Just Jotted Down In Notes App Already 300% Overbudget

MILWAUKEE – Recent film school graduate Kelly Yonkers’ is reportedly running 309% over budget mere seconds after writing down a sentence fragment of a script idea in her iPhone, multiple insiders report.

“I had an idea for a feature about hackers who all converge in one house after being pursued by the FBI and they realize the identities they portrayed online are nowhere near their realities,” recounted Yonkers, recent graduate of University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. “So I typed it into my Notes app, and the moment it saved, I got a Google Alert with my name in a Deadline article saying that ‘H4ck3r H0us3’ is 309% overbudget. Then, I got a call from a Chase Bank debt collector, and my credit score sunk to 370. Umm... Help!”

Hollywood insiders and journalists were quick to jump on the script idea’s struggling finances.

“’H4ck3r H0us3’ was doomed from the start with its SEO-unfriendly title. Let’s hope it’s merely a working title,” said film industry journalist Lacey Ulbrecht, in an article on Deadline.com. “Executive producer, writer, and director Kelly Yonkers will have to seek additional investors lest its production difficulties continue. Her work may become the ‘Heaven’s Gate’ of 2021.”

Veteren Hollywood filmmakers attempted to offer a few calming words of advice for those aspiring to create works for the silver screen.

“Look, no movie is ever under budget. And if you think it is, it’s not because you’re actually under budget- it’s because your accountant fucked up the budgeting to begin with,” said legendary director Martin Scorsese. “I don’t know that good art can even be made without overspending. ‘The Departed’ wasn’t costing us all that much money, so I demanded to use ‘Gimme Shelter’ in the soundtrack. That lit a stress-filled fire under my ass, and hell- I got my first Best Director Oscar with that one.”

Yonkers’ problems continued, as she reportedly received a call from actor Ryan Gosling stating that he would never, ever work with her mere seconds after creating her empty Final Draft project.

Type:
Run Time:
Genre:
MORE FROM THE PLOT TWIST

Zack Snyder Announces New Film After Discovering Second Leonard Cohen Song

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Filmmaker Zack Snyder has reportedly begun working on a new cinematic project after discovering...

Hyperrealistic Teen Drama Features Scene Where Kids Smoke Out Of Apple At “ The Spot”

LOS ANGELES — Audiences were stunned by the laser-accuracy of the pilot of Euphoria creator Sam Levinson's most...

Man's DVD Collection 90% Ironic

LEBANON, Tenn. — Local film enthusiast Jeffrey Morrison came to the stunning realization earlier this week that of...

Authorities Warn Of Men With Wire-Framed Glasses Telling You To Download Letterboxd

WASHINGTON, D.C. — For the first time in over a year, federal officials have issued an all-points bulletin warning...

Horror Movie Dog Can’t Believe He Has To Die For This Family

SALEM, Mass. — In sharp deviation from the strict haunted house pet guidelines, the Roscoe family’s German Shepherd...

Paddington Cinematic Universe Creates Shared Fantasy World Where Kindness And Decency Win

LONDON, UK — Representatives from Studiocanal UK confirmed today that the third Paddington film would be part of a...