Report: 'Emily In Paris' Nominated For Golden Globe Because That's Where We're At As A Country, We Guess?


UNITED STATES —- Pop culture historians released a report early this morning attributing Netflix hit Emily in Paris’ Golden Globe nomination to “where our shithole of a country is at right now,” baffled sources confirmed.

“I mean I watched the show as a joke, and it was like fun? But it wasn’t like ‘wow this deserves a Golden Globe nomination’ fun!” explained Jenna Stuart, the article’s lead researcher and head writer. “We ultimately concluded that Emily’s nomination is just sort of a perfect metaphor for the dumpster fire status of the United States as a nation. A transcendently bad show about a privileged white girl receives accolades while I May Destroy You gets shut out? Great fucking way to end a year that saw historic protests for racial justice and astounding, intelligent art by BIPOC artists. Sorry the report sucks, guys, we’re just frustrated.”

Cast members of the Netflix smash were more enthusiastic about the nomination.

“I’m just so happy we got nominated,” Lily Collins explained, showing off all her selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower that make up a majority of the show. “We had never actually been to Paris, but we thought it couldn’t be hard to make a show about how easy it is to live abroad and become famous if you’re young, white, and skinny! The Netflix algorithm knew the HFPA would eat that up right away.”

The HPFA issued a statement regarding their decision.

“After watching Emily In Paris, we were overcome by the depth of the characters and the themes of the show. A hot woman who has too many hot guys to deal with and a mean boss... what a show! And don’t even get us started on James Corden in The Prom. Year after year, middling white people continue to put out middling white content with massive campaign budgets and lots of little kisses for our little feet. What are we supposed to do, give good art and diverse artists the recognition ” they deserve? Yeah, okay.”

At press time, Stuart released a follow up report attempting to explain why the Golden Globes are still a thing, anyway.

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