Zack Snyder Announces New Film After Discovering Second Leonard Cohen Song

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Filmmaker Zack Snyder has reportedly begun working on a new cinematic project after discovering that prolific musician Leonard Cohen had recorded another song besides his hit Hallelujah, sources close to the project confirm.

“One morning I told Google to play some music and this song came on, it was so familiar. It sounded like Hallelujah but it wasn’t Hallelujah. I asked Google what it was and the speaker told me it was a song called Famous Blue Raincoat by Leonard Choen,” Snyder said while playing the song on repeat on his laptop. “I had no idea he had a second song. I called my producing partner right away and was like, we gotta make a movie with this song.”

Ruby Frank, Snyder’s producing partner, isn’t so optimistic about this project.

“We were so afraid something like this would happen that we did everything we could to make sure he never heard another Cohen song, so much so that he ended up using Hallelujah twice,” Frank said while buying every Cohen vinyl in a record store before Snyder entered. “He doesn’t have a screenplay, or a plot, or even an idea but he wants me to find $5 million for the project. All he has done is text me a picture he drew of a sexy woman wearing nothing but a raincoat. This is a film only mobsters would fund to launder their money.”

Film historian Hattie Brewer acknowledges a single song isn’t a good reason to make a movie, but that it could work anyway.

“Other films have been made for worse songs. Goodfellas was only made because Scorsese owed Eric Clapton fifty dollars,” Brewer said while promoting her book Movies Were A Mistake. “John Hughes famously shot half of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off with nothing but the rights to Yello’s song, Oh Yeah. Tarentino got Pulp Fiction fully funded with only a cassette tape of Surf Rider and a photo of Uma Thurman’s feet. My point is, movies are awful and a complete waste of time and energy.”

As of press time, Snyder has changed the color of the raincoat and also, it isn’t a raincoat anymore, it is a big gun.

Type:
Run Time:
Genre:
MORE FROM THE PLOT TWIST

‘I Totally Relate To Nomadland,’ Says Wealthy Van-Lifer With 100k Followers

YOSEMITE, Calif. — 24-year-old van-lifer, influencer, and yearslong recipient of her parents’ financial support Ella...

Closure of Beloved Bookstore Chain Devastates Los Angeles

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Los Angeles residents were shocked to find out Monday afternoon that Arclight, the beloved chain...

CDC Pauses Production of Dwayne Johnson & Don Johnson Buddy Cop Film

LOS ANGELES — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention issued a statement Wednesday morning announcing the...

Adventure Movie Scientists Warn Climate Change May Eradicate World's Quicksand, Snake Pits

PETRA, JORDAN — In a new study inked in blood and printed on parchment, the Association of Adventure Movie Scientists...

Paul Thomas Anderson Movie Nominated For Oscar During Pre-Production

LOS ANGELES — During a pre-production discussion about the upcoming Paul Thomas Anderson film, producers, cast and...

Aaron Sorkin's Suez Canal Screenplay Just 300 Pages Of White People Talking

PORT SAID, Egypt — After increasing chatter from industry experts, Aaron Sorkin announced Wednesday that he's...